The Time Starved Marriage by Les Parrott,

So my wife and I started reading a book by Les (Leslie) Parrott called “The Time Starved Marriage” in which identifies that many marriages as we know it personally and from observation suffer from the lack of time spent as a couple. Since both partners are so busy with life that by the time they know it, time has escaped from them… with no way to ever recover it back. The book implies that in all things in reality that we work so hard for, like money, work, and life… the most valuable thing that we neglect to ever think about is time. The valuable resource, unlike anything else, is irreplaceable or can never be regained.

Since my wife and I started reading this book, it has definitely shown us quite a bit about ourselves and how we “manage” time. Now although the whole “managing” time is actually an illusion (because time continues on regardless of what we do) it is how and on what we spend our time on that  makes the difference. It beckons us to ask the question: Are we spending enough time or even any time on our marriage as we do with other things?

Three years ago, I was caught up like a tenth of the world’s population is now in the game of “World of Warcraft” by Blizzard Entertainment. (can you believe it? a 1/10 of the worlds population plays this game!) I was very much involved with the game from an entertainment and “escape” standpoint from the daily hustle and bustle of work and family life. Even after the birth of our first child, I continued to play the game religiously until the expansion came out. Once that happened (and my class: priests, didn’t see any notable upgrades) I took a step back and asked myself, “Is it really worth it to keep playing this game when all it does is recycle itself to where it keeps you trying again and again and again?” When I thought about it, I thought about the year long time that I put into this game and all for what exactly? To miss time with my daughter growing up or to see time pass by my own marriage and see it crumble as it did at that time?

Long story short, I realized that I desperately needed to stop playing and to focus on my family, my wife, and my child. Work could come and go, money will be spent and earned, but time… that is a valuable commodity that can never be replaced no matter how hard you ever could try. If the focus is not instant or even now on your marriage, it may be too late to ever refocus on it. Where is your time going? On what do you spend your time on? Track these things. For all we can do is look back and live with the regret that we’ll never be able to recoup that time ever again.

I do encourage others to check out this book. It not only identifies the “no brainers” in how we spend time but also allows you to see how you and your partner’s perspective on time is different and actually has a cool little graph to show you where you are in the “time management” table.

Overall, very well done.


~ by Leng Yang on April 30, 2009.

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